Should I be friends with my players as a pro GM?
Should I be friends with my players as a pro GM?
Surprisingly, I get asked this often
When I first started out as a pro GM on Start Playing Games at the end of 2021 I maintained an incredibly “professional” vibe. Then, months later - I realized that I was dying more and more inside. I asked myself: Am I actually friends with these patrons of mine?
This isn’t a straightforward piece of advice article that you might be accustomed to from those other bloggers. It, like most things, just depends on you and your business vision. So let’s go through a quick set of pros & cons of being friendly & personable with your players as a pro GM.
Pros:
Gossip time isn’t as awkward.
You have more fun as a GM during the game.
Less work dread.
Customer retention improves.
Cons:
More emotional investment to monitor for bleed that might harm you or them.
Players are more inclined to cross your personal boundaries.
You give more concessions for financial & emotional hardship.
I believe that the pros outweigh the cons in my case. I have to be a professional that monitors and establishes clear boundaries about what I am okay with. For instance: Fem GMs often deal with players who sexualize them or make inappropriate advances.
One of the ways I have avoided those awkward overly flirtatious situations has been that I now offer private erotica games. When people act this way toward me, I mention this service that I provide. It has basically eliminated unwelcome flirting for me in my community. As a result of this solution: I can have fun with those players (and get paid) in a consensual environment. Players respect my boundaries because of it and I make more money, which is great!
It can be a lot of work to manage these additional costs (cons) of being a friend to your players, but it has resulted in some of the most rewarding table experiences. I like to think of myself as a bartender, host, or gym owner - I can be friendly and caring with people while I am at work, too.
How do you tackle this? Let me know in the comments!
If you want to support my work, please check out The Undead Gala, which is on sale for $3.96 on Drive Thru RPG. It makes for a great holiday gift to your GM, too! This 5-star murder mystery adventure is the perfect introduction to The Vineyard RPG setting and campaign guidebook. You’ll even receive a coupon for $15 off your pre-order of the core book! (What a steal.)
