Hey y’all.
You read that correctly. The novel I started in December is finished. It has undergone three revisions and is currently with beta readers. It’ll go through edits this month and be prepped for the crowdfunding campaign in June to pay for said editing, formatting, and printing. I’m hoping to hit additional goals for the audiobook and a special edition hardcover. I’ve already cast a couple of wonderful trans voice talents to play the badass queer POVs.
But back to the dreary blogging: With everything going on in the world, I needed a break from the constant overbearing and crushing weight of capitalism hanging over me. I finished up my work on How To GM Romance and I’m quite proud of it. Being a project lead is pretty taxing and after a while I guess I’m just spent.
I’m lucky enough to be supported by my wonderful fiancé Najia, who has been there for me through my transition and moreover during the tumultuous second half of my life. Regardless of my success financially (or lack thereof) as a creative, she has been an incredible partner to me. I don’t think any of this would have been possible with her. I’m hoping to love and support her in ways that prove she was right to bet on me.
Why do I tell you this? One, it’s to emphasize that working creatives really do not make a living wage. (I’m pretty sure that most of you are well aware of that, as the newsletter ostensibly functioned as a “make a living wage” blog I created to help others in the pro GM community.) Second, it’s to express gratitude for the opportunity that I have a stable living situation to be able to try to “make it” as a creative.
I know it’ll be slow at first and I’m doing my best to temper my expectations. But I want to share my project with you all in the hopes that you’ll be interested enough to support it. Either by following the BackerKit because you trust me or because you think what I share about it is fun or interesting.
Who Am I As A Novelist?
I grew up reading Battletech, Star Wars, Wheel of Time, and Raymond Feist novels. You know the ones in the half price book stores. I was that kid in elementary school who had a stack of books on her desk and carried one with me wherever I went all through high school. I started writing fan fiction (Battletech) in 6th grade. I was accused of plagiarism in 7th grade because my Lit teacher couldn’t believe an F student wrote short stories well for her age. I turned in a completed (bad) novel to him in 8th grade, printed out in bad colored text and loaded into a 3 ring binder. His feedback was “Wow, I’ve never seen a kid write that much”.
Little did he know that the reason why I wrote so much was because of being perpetually grounded and dealing with gender dysphoria. I didn’t know the second bit, either.
But now I do.
I kept writing throughout my teens and 20s, then picked it back up in my 30s when I left the Marines to pursue a life not subservient to the imperial war machine. In my 20s I had worked on a fantasy novel that was a trans fantasy journey for years. The magic was gender-based and the protagonist fulfilled both genders within their society after rejecting the heteronormative role as a man during their coming of age ceremony. (I had no idea what trans people were, even in my 20s. Depictions of us weren’t exactly flattering and I knew no openly trans people.) Anyway, it was a little on the nose.
I picked up TTRPG writing after I fell in love with performing in actual plays. I wasn’t able to break in as a TTRPG writer, so I created my own projects. Some like The Vineyard I’m just waiting on having the capital to finish. The problem is always capital. (Capitalism sucks.)
I was honored and surprised to be nominated for the ENNIES with my first published adventure The Undead Gala. My experience on How To GM Romance has been splendid and I’m so happy to have worked with everyone on the team to bring that to life. I’m incredibly grateful to our publisher Metal Weave Games for taking a chance on us.
I’ve really enjoyed making things in TTRPG, but it’s also just not sustainable to make a living wage. So I venture onward to pursue other uses of my time that people might pay me for, if I write a good enough story.
What Is Black Hole Guns For Hire?
This is the blurb. I kinda hate copywriting sometimes. I have to jam together a few sentences for my 260 page book and hope people like it.
Captain Bho’s privateer vessel escapes a hostile takeover by space pirates only to witness a targeted United Earth cosmic assault on civilians. Captain Bho leads her crew in a bid to escape the black hole, relying on her gutsy crew of ragtag rebels to pull together against the most powerful entity in the universe. Meanwhile in the dying light of the star, Chief Zuri and the Captain reignite an old romance, but is it doomed just like this star system?
I wanted to write something that had pulpy dialogue, action, sex, high-stakes, and humor. I have always yearned to develop a series within a wider universe following a group of characters. This is my shot at doing so and I’m going to do it my way. I don’t plan for it to be perfect. It’s messy and swings big like I do.
In developing these characters we’ll follow over the course of the series, I’ve tried to tap into the strange position I find myself in living in the heart of the imperial core. I’m an American who served as an “imperial stormtrooper” for the entirety of my 20s. Reckoning with that over the past few years has been difficult. Not in a “woe is me” type of way, although there is plenty of that–but in a “what do I even do to make up for this” type of way.
If I were to browse Bluesky and take the majority leftist opinion, I’d have offed myself already. Unfortunately, I’m not really into suicide, despite being both a veteran and trans person. I’m probably too entitled and shameless. For what it’s worth I certainly don’t blame anyone in the global south for having a negative opinion of me. I’d hate my ass, too.
I don’t think my pulpy sci-fi novels are going to change the world, but they might help some people who need it. I’ve written them to explore the journey I’m going through in my personal life: What do I do now that I’m a deprogrammed imperial soldier? Maybe if I were more of a cowboy, I’d join an anti-American resistance movement somewhere in the world. My characters are more fearless than I.
Black Hole Guns For Hire is the first story centering veterans of the United Earth military who leave the imperial core and sign up to do refugee aid and supply runs for the Anti-Federalist Alliance as privateers. Along the way they encounter pirates, cyborg xenos, hot aliens, black holes, and the politics of rebellions as they move to officially enlist in the rebellion. If you think you’re into that: Sign up to follow the BackerKit campaign.
I’ll have some TTRPG podcasts and other things coming out sometime soon, whenever I can find the headspace to get them out. Thanks so much for reading.
