Building a queer friendly table (Kickstarter reward blog)

Easy as putting LGBTQ+ friendly in your title, right?

I’m back with another Kickstarter reward blog for hitting $10,000 on our funding goal!

Here’s a simple how-to guide to build a more queer friendly table:

• Listen first

• Ask clarifying questions

• Own mistakes, but don’t dwell on them

• Do not tolerate intolerance

Listen first:

It was a big change for me going from my identity as a “man” to a queer transfem. One of the biggest hurdles I personally had and I know others do: I always assume I can bring something of value, no matter the topic. If you’re not queer and there are queer issues or identity being discussed, take a moment to pause and listen to others’ experiences first.

Even if you do not “agree” with someone’s expression or life experience, it’s important not to deny that to others.

Ask clarifying questions:

When you’re confused and want to learn more, you can ask questions. However, it is not a requirement that every queer you meet educates you on a topic. In fact: It can get pretty exhausting if they’re already doing so for friends or family in their own community. I believe a good middle-ground is to ask: “Do you recommend any resources I can look over to learn more about that?”

Own mistakes, but don’t dwell on them:

I mess up pronouns frequently as a queer person. It takes some getting used to being corrected, but if you are then just accept that and move on. The more you react or make it a scene, typically the less welcome you can make a queer feel at a cis-majority table.

Do not tolerate intolerance:

Insert Nazi analogy. If you do not stand up for the queers at your table, do not expect them to stick around. There’s always other places to go online, which is why many queers attempt to find community there in the first place. Many queers do not have the safety to be themselves with others in their local community.

I hope this was helpful. Thanks so much to our Kickstarter backers! See you again at 12k! Check out the Vineyard RPG on Kickstarter today! Every pledge matters.